Families are Forever





This week in our class we explored some demographics in our own extended families by working with what is called a genogram.  It’s like a genealogy pedigree chart, but gives you the opportunity to track different aspects of each couple and their family members.  I decided to track temple (eternal) marriages, civil marriages (until death do us part), and other cohabiting partnerships.  I also noted things like alcoholism and abuse.  But for this post I want to just look at the marriage demographic.

First of all, the results were a little surprising to me.  Divorces (or breakups) were almost equally spread among all the types of marriages and domestic arrangements. There were fewer divorces in the larger families, who also happened to be farmers and country dwellers.  There were more divorces in the smaller families, who also happened to be city dwellers. There were fewer divorces in the temple covenant marriages.  Successful cohabitors without any kind of formal marriage contract had experienced at least one failed previous cohabitation companionship before their present one.  There isn’t time or space here to go into full details, but the bottom line was that covenant temple marriages DO have a positive effect on extended families.  It’s a good thing, and it reaches far and deep. By that I mean it profoundly affects the couple and immediate family, but also affects extended family and reaches down through generations.

So why did I choose to refine my attributes to not just those married versus those cohabiting, but to specific types of marriage ceremonies?  I firmly believe that there is a huge difference in the commitment individuals make to covenant (temple) marriages where couples are joined for eternity, as opposed to civil marriages where couples are joined only until death, the exact point they exit this life. 
“By divine design, men and women are intended to progress together toward perfection and a fullness of glory. . . .  By divine design, both a man and a woman are needed to bring children into mortality and to provide the best setting for the rearing and nurturing of children.” ~ David A. Bednar  
An eternal marriage covenant is only fitting to match the divine design for our existence.  Two people enter marriage with the same eternal goals and purposes.  They covenant with each other and with God to work in harmony towards these goals.  There is far more to this principle of eternal, covenant marriage, but that is the main idea.  Marriage is ordained of God, and covenant marriage is His way.

One other point I’d like to make.  ALL marriages and partnerships have problems.  Every form of marriage will be tested.  So the strength and meaning of the type of marriage contract we make is our first defense in the battles that will come.  “The husband and wife in a covenant marriage sustain and lift each other when the wolf comes.” (Hafen)  Problems that come which signal the end of many marriages should only signal to a covenant couple that the time they prepared for is here and it’s time to stand firm in support of each other and their marriage.  In his article, Bruce C. Hafen beautifully describes types of adversity that comes to all marriages and suggests various ways to deal with them.

An entire website could be devoted to the topic of eternal marriage.  I hope you’ll read the articles referenced below.  I believe that all marriages have extreme challenges, and that an eternal, covenant marriage is the best foundation to build a relationship and family on.  I hope you’ll take this opportunity to learn more about it. 

Bednar, D. A. (2006, June). Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal Plan. Retrieved January 31, 2018, from https://www.lds.org/ensign/2006/06/marriage-is-essential-to-his-eternal-plan?lang=eng



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Definition of Marriage

Image
   vs.     This week we are examining the Supreme Court ruling on marriage, which is officially called Obergefell v. Hodges.  Notice I called it the Supreme Court ruling on marriage and not the Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage.  The ruling affected all marriage, not just legalizing new forms of marriage.  But before I go there, I want to back up and try to explore my own feelings on the subject. My first awareness of gay relationships was in middle school.  There were rumors that my very favorite teacher was gay.  He wasn’t openly gay, and nobody really knew for sure.  A couple of years later in high school, it seemed to be a well-known, but only whispered, fact, that my school counselor and my P.E. teacher were lifelong companions.  I had no conflicts or confusion over these discoveries.  Life was full of experiences outside of what I was taught to be right.  And although I knew that these relationships weren’t ...
Read more

We Choose Anger - A Liberating Concept

Image
I’ve heard it before, but it’s easy to forget.   Anger is a choice.   While it seems that sometimes anger chooses us, it’s our choice of how we react to it. If you’re like me, you almost feel obligated to react in anger over some things.   In other words, you feel justified.   Some things are so inappropriate that it wouldn’t seem right not to react in anger.   Sometimes we call it righteous indignation.   I guess there can be a fine difference.   But even calling it by a different name, if we react to ones we love in a way that attacks them or even their behavior, it’s not a loving approach and does not built up, but instead tears down our relationship and the person. At the worst, we have damaged a relationship, possibly permanently.   At best, we’ve chosen to bypass an opportunity to show love, even while correcting or challenging someone’s behavior. As I started to read an article by Elder Lynn G. Robbins about having the power to c...
Read more